Ohana
by khadajkaddish
Summary: Good things often come in small packages. Or in this case, terrible things often come in small packages... MPREG. Rated T for bad language and suggestive themes.


I don't own any of the characters of Kuroshitsuji.

Couldn't get these drabbles out of my head, so I thought I'd write them…

! !

They meet in a club, deep in Hell, in a crazy night of drugs, blood, and sex. Still full from their most recent meals, they feed off pieces of each other. They won't remember much, but a tangle of limbs and alcohol soured breath. The next morning is awkward. Even the mightiest of beings make mistakes and no one is ever prepared for the awkward after effects of revenge-hate sex. Politely, they make their way out the hotel. Silently, they make a pact never to see each other again. Some things are much easier said than done….

! !

He has been feeling ill for several months now. His reactions are slower, his senses high. A mild fainting session brings him to a doctor's office.

"Well Mr. Michaelis, I have some interesting news for you," pipes the overly happy doctor before him. Sebastian can barely resist the urge to snap the medical demon's neck.

Instead, he raises an elegant brow and offers a polite answer (after all, good breeding must never go to waste).

"Yes?"

"When was your last mating cycle?"

Stones of fear grind in the devil's belly. "Excuse me?"

The doctor chortles before giving the younger man a sly look." You can't play coy with me, child. You're heavily into the 4 month of a breeding period. Ah, what a lucky devil the father must be!"

Lips open and close but little sound comes out. It takes several minutes to repower the connections in his brain, but Sebastian does manage to squeak out, "You must be mistaken…."

"No, I will show you," cries the doctor before manifesting an ultrasound and wand into the room. The raven tries not to flinch at the coldness of the gel.

An image flares to life on the black screen. Two separate blobs with two distinct heartbeats.

Sebastian bursts into tears at the travesty-and hormones- of it all.

"Twins?" he whispers, wanting to rip out black hair and gouge out golden eyes.

"Don't worry," the doctor soothes," I'm sure one will devour the other."

[! !]

"I am pregnant," hisses the demon from his towering position over the other male.

"What?"stutters Claude as he wipes blood from bruised lips.

"As in I am with child, you imbecile!" screeches Sebastian before he lunges again.

"And I am the father?" queries the golden eyed male as slow memories of an unspoken night drift pass.

The younger demon huffs a breath, blowing his long bangs out of his eyes. "I would suppose so, considering you are the only demon that I have ever made the unfortunate mistake of rutting with during a heat cycle…."

"Oh…" There aren't really words for this sort of revelation.

"Yes, 'oh' indeed," scowls Sebastian before letting out an agitated sigh "Well, at least you're not the one who's knocked up."

"I'm sorry?" Claude flinches, wary of another punch.

The raven-haired demon snorts in derision. "I think apologies will be best served after the children are born."

"What do you mean?"

"We are devils, not ruffians. I'll expect you to do the proper devilish thing and make me your mate. This is after all mostly your fault."

"It takes two to tango, my friend," sneers Claude, suddenly overwhelmed by the looming responsibility.

Sebastian answers with a crinkled nose and curled lip. "That's exactly why I've never liked dancing."

! !

They mate but it takes time for the two to come to terms with their new situation. Fighting is a common occurrence in their household. The pair were mortal enemies just a few months before.

Today, Claude finds himself in front of a locked closet trying to coax his hormonal husband out. The incessant sobbing fits of Sebastian after a fight always take Claude by surprise.

"Sebastian, I promise I did not mean it. I was merely angry. Of course, you're still the demon you once were."

A sob answers him.

"Won't you please come out? "pleads the older demon.

"You called me fat," sniffles the pathetic creatures from the depths of the closet.

"I didn't. I swear."

"You did!" snaps the younger demon."Moreover, you know how sensitive I am about it. A demon that can't look seductive all the time isn't worth his salt!"

"I apologize then. What can I do to coax you out of there?"

Claude is initially greeted silence until he hears a quiet shuffling.

"If you buy me two gallons of strawberry ice cream and a chocolate cake, I might consider coming out."

Claude sighs and grabs his keys, all the while wondering how he is going to keep the ice cream from melting in the heat of Hell.

! !

"Did they just kick? Let me see!" squeals the overexcited demon. The idea of fatherhood grows more and more on him as he watches his partner's abdomen swell.

Sebastian is less than impressed and snarls as the other devil's cold hands rub eagerly over his taut belly.

"Why don't you get some popcorn while you're at it?" drawls the annoyed demon. He pauses to rub a lazy hand over a particularly animated area, sending Claude's hands straight in that direction.

"Don't be a spoilsport, Sebastian," pouts the other man as he eagerly receives the kicks and jabs from his unborn children.

"That's easy for you to say. You don't have two beings going at it like it's the World Cup inside of you."

The bespectacled devil smiles goofily after an exceedingly vicious hit. "With kicks like these, they'll be wonderful dancers…," he sighs with dreamy eyes.

Sebastian groans turning swiftly into a wince as the movements continue. "Why did I ever sleep with you again?"

! !

Two cradles.

Two bouncy chairs.

Two sets of neutral colored clothing because they are too cliché to find the gender.

That makes two of everything since despite their best predictions; neither of the babies has eaten the other yet. They fight enough though, much to Sebastian's annoyance. So much so, that it is disturbing-even for a demon.

"Was that a foot?"

"Yes, I do believe it was. They seem to be particularly feisty today."

"Can't, you know, try to soothe them?"

Another lump the shape of a fist appears.

"Don't you think I've been trying for the last several months? Honestly, I don't know why one didn't just eat the other."

"Perhaps, they are evenly matched. It only happens when one twin is weaker after all."

"Well, I do wish they would either determine a winner or call a truce. I'm tired of them using my insides as a battleground."

"Perhaps some music might soothe them?"

To Claude's chagrin, the fighting intensifies after the short tune.

"Thanks for giving them a BGM," scowls Sebastian.

! !

Claude wakes up one morning to find his once male lover in a decidedly female form.

"Why are you like that?" he slurs with sleep addled brains. Keeping up a constant supply of souls for a pregnant lover is not easy. Even the strongest of demons become weary after a while.

Calmly turning a page of magazine, Sebastian does not even spare his mate a glance. "My contractions started last night. I can hardly give birth in a male form."

"Contractions!?" blusters the older demon as he jumps out of bed stark naked and rushes to gather supplies. "We've got get you to the birth den and…call…"

"Go back to sleep, Claude. They'll hardly be born today. After all, my own mother's labor took nearly 2 months."

"2 months?"

"My mother nearly every bone in my father's body at my birth; I heard it helped her relieve the pain." quips Sebastian with a dangerously sweet smile.

Claude gulps at the underlying threat of his tone.

! !

The twins decide to make their way into the world on a blustery winter morning. Despite their parents' best attempts to have them born under the watchful eye of a midwife, the pair are seemingly determined to been born NOW.

"Are those two fists I'm seeing?" cries the spectacled demon incredulously from the cradle of his mate's legs.

Sebastian hisses and writhes as contractions rip through him. "Are they fighting even now? Of all the-" He is cut off by a wave of sharp pain.

"I think that this is why things have been taking so long. I think they've been fighting to see who gets born first."

"Well, dammit!" grits the younger male. (Usually not one for cursing but labor makes one do strange things.) "They have been fighting long enough. Choose a fist and pull on it now!"

"Are you sure?" gulps Claude at the enormity of his decision.

"Next time we have a child you can be in labor for a month straight. I want them out now!"

After a quick round of eeny, meeny, miny, moe, Claude chooses the little fist on the left and tugs. 5 minutes later his first child is born. Two seconds later, the second child comes into the world with such an angry fury that Claude is worried he made the wrong choice.

! !

Upon looking at his newborn sons, a terrible sense of déjà creeps into Claude's gut. This is apparently the after effects of mating before you have properly digested a soul…

Their eyes, they are blue. The eldest's is the color of the sky while the younger boy's are a deep ocean blue. A light covering of blond down covers the eldest's head with younger's is covered in a thatch of Sebastian's black hair.

"Let me have a look," Sebastian pants, exhausted from the strenuous birth.

Claude hesitates for only a moment before showing the other demon their children. Sebastian manages only one sentence before completely passing out.

"For fuck's sake!"

! !

"Yes, mother. Two boys born yesterday morning."

"He's resting right now."

"Adeliphus ? We were thinking more Alois and Ciel."

"Well… yes… I know he was my great grandfather but shorter names are more in vogue right now..."

"Yes,yes. Perhaps, it can be a middle name. There are two after all."

"We will certainly think about it."

"Yes, thank you. I will see you at the naming ceremony."

"Adeliphus?" questions Sebastian as Claude comes to rest besides his mate.

"Yes," sighs the older male, taking time to adjust the blankets a little more firmly around his new family, "I think she would be quite upset if we weren't to use it."

"So which one will be the lucky bastard?" grumbles the raven with a wary eye on his newborn sons.

"Well, Ciel did lose at eenie, meenie, moe…and did seem so angry…."

"Poor Alois…"

! !

Having twins is Hell.

"Can't you get him to quiet down?" snaps the red-eyed demon from a nursery chair.

"That's easy for you to say, you've got breasts. How much longer will you be in that form anyway…It's not really becoming of you…"

"This form is perfectly fine," answers the gender-bending demon." It's not as if you don't have a vein he can drink from. Energy is energy, no matter where it comes from."

Exasperated, Claude opens a vein only to find it rejected once again. "You know Ciel hates drinking from anyone else but you. I fail to see why you can't just feed the both of them at the same time. You do have two breasts, you know."

Sebastian snorts at his mate's predicament. "Because they'll fight. And I for one would prefer not to have to biting and scratching whelps near a delicate part of my anatomy."

"What should I do then?" pathetically sobs the devil as sleepless nights and crying babies take a toll on his nerves.

"I don't know," groans Sebastian in response. "Shapeshift? Anything to get him to stop making my ears bleed. Perhaps, he'll feed from you if he could drink from a form he is used to."

Golden eyes startle at the proposal. "You don't mean to suggest that I…"

"Only if you like being able to hear like a proper demon."

"Fine," growls Claude, wincing as he shifts shapes and Ciel greedily latches on.

"This is perhaps one of the most awkward moments of my existence," he grumbles as Ciel quietly drinks on.

The younger demon doesn't miss a beat. "You're a father now. I'm sure there will be plenty more."

! !

"What do you have them watching?"

"Savion Glover."

"They can barely walk, Claude!"

"It's never too early to start. Look Alois is already tapping his feet to the beat. That's my boy. Besides, I've kept mum about the kitty themed clothing you've been buying."

"Well they are my "kittens" after all….I found the joke quite appropriate."

"Cat –fiend."

"Dance-junkie."

The twins turn their attention to their squabbling parents. They are far more entertaining than anything on the TV.

! !

"Why don't you put down that washing ? I promise to make it worth your while," grins Claude from the nest of Sebastian's hair.

"Worth my while, huh?" smirks the younger demon.

"Yes, I do have my ways," purrs the taller devil.

"Well if I remember correctly, the last time you had your wicked way with me, I ended up with two insufferable twins." Gently releasing himself out of his partner's grasp, Sebastian spares the other man a grin."I'm not sure it would be wise to have anything to do with you."

Taking the washing basket out of his lover's hands, the older demon brings his partner back into the cage of his arms. "What if I just had my way with you? With the wickedness on the side?"

His words send the other man into chuckles. "I don't know if I should trust you. You were a deadbeat for the first trimester…"

Claude replies by kissing up Sebastian's neck. "I'm sure I can find some way to make it up to you..."

The red-eyed demon smirks as he leans in for a kiss. "I'm sure you could."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaar h!"

An ear-splitting scream efficiently ruins the romantic moment. Claude growls.

"I swear they do it on purpose."

Sebastian hastily smothers a laugh before slipping away from the other demon.

"You know what they say- 'Children make the best birth control'."

! !

"Where is your mother when I need him?" sighs Claude over the din.

"Right here," mutters Sebastian darkly from the doorway, "but I've got my own bundle of screaming joy to contend with."

The spectacled demon scowls." They wouldn't both be ill if you had not suggested that they share the same bed."

The younger demon glares back. "They wouldn't be ill at all if you hadn't insisted that they have play dates."

"They are beneficial to a child's development. Don't you remember how insufferable they were as humans?"

Sebastian shudders as an answer." Once they get better, I want them going twice a week," he growls as he stalks away in angry defeat.

! !

Two year olds are perhaps the evilest creatures that Sebastian has ever had the misfortune to encounter; and he is a devil.

He can hear the twins fighting three rooms away. The demon sighs and gives the shelves he was dusting – for old habits often die hard- a mournful pat.

"Alois stop teething on Ciel! He is not a chew toy!" he hollers, knowing that his children's demonic abilities allow them to hear him perfectly clearly. He is answered by a short scream and two bloodcurdling wails.

Sebastian sighs as he makes his way towards the nursery. It really does seem as though there is no rest for the wicked…

! !

"Pway," demands Ciel from beside the couch. Holding onto his favorite puzzle, the toddler aggressively pushes it into his father's side.

Swatting the box away, Claude hisses, "Not now, Ciel," before turning back to the Tap-dance World Finals.

"Pway!" insists the boy once again, jabbing the box in harder this time.

Distracted, the older demon gently grabs the box from the child." Where is your brother?"

"Sweep'" answers the child with a decided pout.

"Sleeping? Shouldn't you be doing the same thing? I'm sure your mother put you down for a nap together."

Ciel shakes his dark head. "Pway," he again repeats, stretching for the box with a whine.

"Fine, but after this, you'll go down for your nap like you were supposed to."

Several hours later, Sebastian is not surprised to find Savion Glover on the TV. He is, however, surprised to see the sight of Ciel and Claude snuggled up. Smiling, he throws a blanket and drags Alois away from poking his brother awake.

! !

"Alois, did you draw on the wall?"

"Yes I did, Mommy and Ciew hwelped me drawed it too."

Hands stand on hips as the demon furrows his brows in admonishment. "Nice try at incriminating your brother, but I seriously doubt that considering that he is and has been down for the nap you are currently supposed to be taking right now."

Alois has the grace to flush.

Looking closely at the scrawling, Sebastian turns back to his whelp. "What is this supposed to be of?"

"A picture of you and Daddy wreslin', but you's is winnin," grins the blond at his mother's question.

The older demon tries not to choke at the meaning of "wrestling" is to a child of three.

"Am I in twouble?"

"No," chuckles the devil, "but sure to show your father this picture too. Explain the story as well"

The child nods feverishly. "Ok, Mommy," the child agrees, pleased to have escaped punishment.

Sebastian smiles wickedly to himself. He has been trying to stave Claude's advances outside o the bedroom for weeks. Looks like his problem will be solved.

! !

"Stop teasing your brother!" growls Claude from the front of the car. Why in Hell's name did he agree to take both children with him to the store?

"But I don't like him," pouts Ciel from his booster seat.

"Well, I don't like you sometimes too. Plus, you're stuck with each other forever."

"But I've been stucked to him since I was borned!" wails the child in distressed response.

"Yes, well, if you had of done what any normal demon fetus would have done and eaten him, you wouldn't have this problem now would you?" responds his father as his grips tightens dangerously on the steering wheel and the car lurches to a dangerous right.

Alois sticks his tongue out in victory and the fight continues.

! !

Walpurgis Night is perhaps one of the most important holidays in the Demon Realm. Like a sort of demonic Christmas, most demon families celebrate it. Parents often fight over what costumes their children will wear during the festivities. The Michaelis-Faustus household is no different in that respect.

"Last year's theme was cats…"

"Well, the year before that, it was tap dancers from around the world."

"Hmmm, it seems we've hit an impasse. How should we settle this?"

"Rock, paper, scissors?"

! !

It is the twin's first outing in the Human Realm. Excited, the pair run ahead of their parents, trying to trip up each other as their eternal war rages on. Sebastian and Claude walk calmly behind the two, taking in the changes in human society. They try to ignore the stares they are receiving.

Claude, as usual, is the first one to crack.

"You are too overprotective."

"How am I too overprotective?" Sebastian bites back.

"You've got them in sweaters in August," whispers Claude, gesturing wildly to his boys.

"The Human Realm is much cooler than Hell. I wouldn't want them catching colds," the younger devil bristles, his inner mother hen coming out.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, the spectacled demon concedes defeat. ""Could you at least take off the scarves and mittens? People are starting to stare."

! !

"Claude, it's their first day of school, not a funeral."

"It might as well be both, "moans the golden-eyed demon from the kitchen table.

Sebastian ignores his lover's moping eyes in favor of double-checking his sons' uniforms. Neatly hand stitched nameplates wink up at him. He scowls when he notices a wet spot on one of the blazers.

"Have you been crying in their uniforms?" he growls in disbelief.

Claude avoids his mate's eyes in favor of drawing finger circles on the table. "It was a moment of weakness…"

! !

"Are they asleep?"

"Yes, finally…"

"They're cuddled up together."

"Actually, they fell asleep fighting. If you look closely, you can see the scratch marks on their faces."

"Do you regret it?"

"Perhaps in the beginning I was a little…disgruntled."

"…and now?"

"I'm just grateful that I can take showers alone now."


End file.
